My thermometer just broke.". She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. "Oh, god!" she exclaims. The discovered mummy, on display at the party hall, suddenly woke up. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Sister Susan responds "Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it! But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative. ", Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. The man, astounded, turns to the other person and asks, What was in that bottle? The other person replies, Its hare spray.. Error occurred when generating embed. Ever fooled around while camping? A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. As Sandy put her hands in Jims pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! The guy looks all confused then asks "What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?" The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? "No", he says. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" Additionally, some . The bartender replies "$1". No cellphone", says the second crow. News on The Christmas Prince 4 for 2023. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell - 23 Mar 2022 Sense of Humor Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. The barber finished giving the haircut but there was no sign of the father. He eventually makes his way over to the bear. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. "Why are you here again? Second Lady : You can get them at any drugstore. How could you lie to me all these years?" "The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face. A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. Theres no b in rose!Carl replied, There was in this one!. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Mind Your Own Business replied, "I am looking for Trouble! ", "I don't care, open it now!!!" But, somehow he couldn't find him anywhere. So the nurse sucks it back. One was named Trouble, while the other boy's name was Mind Your Own Business. "Wipe it off and say you're sorry." Max_W_ 3. That's a huge miscommunication! Yes it is: 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!, A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help. I was impressed and asked: "Does he know how his so many greats grandfather lived for so long? "The vendor replies, "Change comes from within.". 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A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" The Sister Responds "Well there was this one time that I kinda sorta touched one with the tip of my pinky finger" Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot? "Do you know what I am doing?" As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death. Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? "    " + "I work for the 3M company! Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal to someone else, will receive unlimited free liquor for the duration of the flight! My friend once called a few house painters to his house for some work. Two friends are walking their dogs together. They pass a bar and the lab owner says, "Let's get a beer.". The Bored Panda iOS app is live! In my neighborhood, there was a couple who had given their twin sons very weird names. 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"What do you mean?" He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. This time a larger number of hands were raised. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. Now I know I can handle the bad news. //